He probably didn’t see much before you both panicked, but he will have sensed a strange atmosphere. Rather than the self-stimulation per se, this is about catching your parent in a sexual situation. This part is easy to discuss, because we all know that everyone does it and that is just as it should be. It’s part of your precious relationship with yourself. You find the time, you lock the door (you’ll clearly, never forget to do that again). Yes, getting caught is awkward, so perhaps say that you made a mistake because a nice relaxed solo session takes a certain amount of organisation. This is where you tell him that sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s how you deal with it that’s important. It’s not the masturbating that’s the issue. He’s probably never quite sure what’s going to happen next. His body is probably changing, or soon will be. If he’s not already masturbating, then the likelihood is that before long he’ll be thinking/dreaming/wondering about it. Not when it pertains to something so normal and healthy. We all carry so much shame, you cannot let this become another burden for you or your son to carry. Smooth move on your wife’s part keeping the ball in your court. We look forward to talking about all the things that our own parents avoided to deftly and sensitively deal with the awakening of our children’s sensibilities, and encourage their sense of self-love.īut the reality sometimes doesn’t feel so easy, particularly when it is triggered by an incident like this one, which must have been traumatic for both of you. We imagine that our handling of these predicaments will be so different to the conspiracy of silence that surrounded our own adolescent sexuality. Not necessarily the getting caught mid-flow bit, but certainly the conversation bit.īefore we have children, many of us look forward to the parent we’ll become. Well, here we are, at this particular crossroads, that every modern parent reaches. I’ve told my wife about it, which was undignified enough, and now she says I should talk to him. I shouted at him to go away, which I feel terrible about, and we’ve been avoiding each other since. I was in the loo and I forgot to lock the door as I thought everyone was out. My 12-year-old son caught me masturbating the other day.
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